Squeezing

Feeling a bit like I can't breathe again today, and have this voice playing over and over in my head every time I start to freak out. be still and know that i am god.

trying, I am, though it's hard. things feel like they're about to come crashing down around my ears.

i should be party planning for the boy who turns 6 tomorrow, but there's not a smidgen of budget for that. he did get a great present today, courtesy of a gift card his dad had squirreled away from his own birthday. Perhaps i will regret getting a power tool for a 6-year-old?! His dad's suggestion of course. A toolbox full of his own tools, wood glue, etc, and a cordless drill with a full bit set. It's the smallest they have (7.5 volts) but you can still do plenty of damage with that to just about anything. When i repeated a friend's concern to M about what he could do to his little brother with it, he replied that he doubted he could drill through bone, F had a tough skull. thanks for the flippant reassurance.

will i ever be done nagging and correcting homework? changing poopy diapers? freaking about bouncing checks?

be still.

(ok, I'll try)

no, really ... be still. and know. that I. am God.

ok.