home again and reflecting as usual

Florida was great.  More pics are here.  Douglas turned 8, some sun was found, training kept mostly on track, internet was left behind, and boys did pretty well together.  It was a good break. 

As usual I’m home with the desire to not go back to what I left, but keep the relaxation alive, and the internet-time at a minimum.  This is hard to do.  Very hard.  Once again I waffle on combining this blog with my other one, and getting more personal in the process.  I’m tired of obligations that I’ve created, I’m a pro at that.  I’m enjoying homeschooling for the most part, and resent the things that glue me to the computer.  I have a newsletter to write, D is addressing letters, and F is sleeping.  I must take advantage of the quiet hour.  I’ll be back sometime. 

ps.  This?  Is atrocious, worse than anything I’ve ever seen on the subject of marital relations.  Bad on so many levels. 

away

off to florida, thx to inlaws and such.  just the boys and i.  a welcome break, tho packing is sucky at best.  i think it’s a good way to clear the decks before digging into homeschooling, and a way to start clean.  both boys are curled up on my bed looking exhausted and we leave in 45 min, here’s hoping they stay docile through a day of subway/greyhound/cab/amtrak/car so we can get to where our ride starts!  i’ll leave you with the fynn and our housemate, from our trip to the park in the snowstorm.  i’m looking forward to some sun!

so

we went on a cruise.  one night, down the hudson and past Long Island, and had a wonderful time.  thx to my sis and her hubby.  great to get away, see the sunset AND sunrise across the city, eat at 3 restaurants, and have time to just be.  a few things came out, and peace with decisions was deepened. 

particularly the decision to homeschool douglas, starting in just under 3 weeks (at the winter break).  primarily me.  fynn to hopefully stay in school until the end of the year, though we’re months behind on his tuition.  they’re being helpful and flexible, so we’ll see.  not a light decision though we’ve tossed it around for ages.  not in response to a terrible school either.  pretty much in response to watching his change in demeanor, sensing a shift in my relationship to him, and god kicking me in the butt and whispering “take him out now, or lose him.”  i can’t tell you why, really, just that despite the obvious potential issues with patience and freedom and personalities, i have no doubts about it.  just that it will be hard, with potential for great joy and great challenge. 

a piece of it involves me dropping the last bits of feeling like i must bring in money, even though logic dictates that i must.  i can’t work much and still focus on my kids like i have to, and indeed want to.  i didn’t want to for a long time.  not exclusively.  i do now, within reason.  meaning i still need time alone, to run, etc and have no intention of giving up my other blog unless it proves to be too big a time hog.  i’m not a good mother when i work.  at all.  

i’m looking forward to the change.  i need prayer for patience and realistic attitudes about it.  ironically, the social aspect of his school is the best it’s ever been, and i feel more at home there than i ever have.  there will be tears.  i talk to his teacher tomorrow, to launch the ball.  i’ve said for years that it’s never time to leave a place until it really hurts.  this will be no exception.   

green sanctuary

In honor of my favorite watering hole, the Women’s Colony, here are some of my favorite Green images (as requested for Monday) for the Sanctuary

The first is from a rainy day spent land-hunting-dreaming in WV.  We stopped at the top of a mountain, knocking on the door of a cabin that appeared to be for sale.  No response, so we wandered and poked and got dripped on.  Fynn clutched his precious juice bottle for dear life.  When he saw me posting this photo, he asked if “that juice was all mine? It’s all mine, isn’t it?” We don’t drink much juice I guess, and I do tend to make the boys share bottles of it.  I love the green cast around their eyes.

green day

Douglas found the dripping that day a bit chilly. We all did actually.  The incredible green-ness of everything, in contrast to home, was delightful. 
shivering

I gave Fynn green yogurt once, long ago.  Only once.  The results were hilarious to me, as his motor coordination wasn’t so hot.
it's not easy being green

Making salsa is a summer tradition.  I make (and can) as much as I find the time and money for.  I didn’t get that much done this year, and missed the last couple weeks of Romas at the market, so picked up a bag of tomatillos to make some salsa verde. They were gorgeous to me, swirling ever so slowly in the pot.  I wasn’t so sold on the taste in the end, sadly. There’s still a half-eaten jar in the fridge that keeps getting shoved to the back of the shelf. 
tomatillos

Happy Monday, and perhaps, just maybe, you’ll see me around a bit more this week.  I’m toying with the idea of NaBloPoMo and all that. 

I'm still alive ...

I few pics to share, too tired to write.  I’m already wishing a bit to be home, but loving what I’m doing/seeing.  Feels like 2+ weeks already, only been 10 days.  Packing a LOT in as usual, so rare to have a car that I don’t want to miss things we can pack in. 

First stop, PA. 

Then camping in WV to scout land.  Gorgeous country. 

Then on to Rend Lake IL

I’m having a delightful time :).  There are oodles more pics that will make their eventual way to flickr. 

WV was intense for me in many ways, first stab at the reality of moving out of the city.  New roommates when we return.  So very on vacation that Bklyn fades, can’t remember many things.  Finding the right shade of nail polish for my cousins wedding and planning lunch dates is more pressing than writing on my other blog or remembering bills or details of life.  this is good.