I joined in on the Perfect Moms Finish Last preview call today (thanks Carley!) and aside from a great-sounding series of classes (I’d definitely join it if I had my pennies lined up!) one thing really stuck in my head. She referred to an essay by Judith Stadtman Tucker called The New Future of Motherhood. The part that caught my real attention was the idea that we shouldn’t label motherhood as a job, but as a relationship. It’s not something to be graded on, assessed at, promoted to, or fired from. It’s not something to perfect. It’s simply unhelpful to apply the job analogy, as it implies so many things that frame motherhood in the wrong context. Relationships are messy, complicated, two-sided, and cover every possible range of emotions. They’re a lifelong pursuit, and something that we often feel ambivalent about. I am Douglas and Fynn’s mother. They are my kids: a relationship that we’ll be working on for the rest of our lives, in various states of harmony, volatility, and depth. I like that.
This obviously relates to the Q of the Week about competitive motherhood … if it’s a relationship who are we competing with?!