Seeing Myself in my Kids

The more I’m around Douglas, which is a lot these days thanks to home schooling him, the more I see myself in him.  It’s part of parenting, that sudden jolt when you hear your own voice, see your own features, or watch your own mannerisms reflected right back at you.  Sometimes it’s a joy, more often though I notice when it’s something I’d rather not have reflected.  I’m forced to face my own issues, and it hurts!

Parenting makes us so vulnerable, and when we’re at our low points we really don’t want a mirror, thank you very much!  I suspected (and was warned) this would happen once I brought him home to learn, and I’m finding it very true.  The highs are higher and the lows are lower.  We’re working through our issues, slowly, and I’m allowing myself as much room as I possibly can.  This is hard.  I have new respect for anyone who makes it their mission to educate kids, no matter how many kids or in what situations.  Reading the signs, managing the expectations, finding the ways that work and the ways that don’t.  Keeping it real, keeping it as low-stress as possible, and truly slowing down enough to enjoy it all.  It’s a daily struggle :).

Back to seeing myself in my kids, I think it’s true of most of us: we’ve got at least one kid that really acts and feels and behaves a lot like we do/did.   Douglas is like that, while Fynn is as different as he can be: he’s my husband’s MiniMe!  Slap on a mustache and he’s got a twin.  I find them both challenging to handle, but the one that’s like me is a lot harder, as I react a bit differently when I see my own traits coming at me at 90 miles an hour.  We enjoy each other’s company a bit more naturally, but we also annoy each other a lot faster. 

You have any kids that are so like you that it drives you a bit nuts sometimes?