Q of the Week: What do you miss most about your pre-mom self? (by Heather S.)

I caught a glimpse of my “old self”… and I liked it!

One question I love to ask other moms is, “ What do you miss most about your pre-mom self?”  I recently posed this question to a Moms’ Club, and their answers varied wildly from missing their flat stomachs, feeling brain numb from dealing with small children all day — to remembering how easy it was to get in the car and do something … anything before they had children.

As for my pre-mom self … I miss sleep.  I miss my alone time, I miss wandering aimlessly down each grocery store isle, I miss not caring what time it is, I miss silence, and I miss my husband.  But one thing I hadn’t really thought about in a long time was how I missed my love of the outdoors.  Before I had children some of my favorite moments were with nature.

I know plenty of women who take their babies camping, but it would have been disastrous with my poor sleepers.   We tried a few time to hike wearing a baby backpack, but I didn’t have the most adaptable young kids.  The adventures always ended early in frustration.  I never really felt comfortable taking them on a kayak or a canoe because the thought of being trapped on a small boat with a fussy child was not my idea of fun. I just forgot all about these aspects of my old life, because it didn’t seem to fit into my new one.

It wasn’t until this summer with my children — now ages 5 and 3, that we started experimenting with some of our old interests and passions.  In July we went camping, in August we tried kayaking on a river and in September we climbed a mountain.  And you know what?  The kids loved it!  We all loved it!  I haven’t felt more like “me” in years! 

Can we go at the speed, length or even the locations we used to?  Not yet, but, we can bring back the love of nature-which for years made me incredibly happy and peaceful.  I can take parts of my pre-mom self and mold them into my new life with children. It is a start, and it feels wonderful!

When we become moms we don’t have to give up everything else that makes us happy.  In fact, quite the opposite.  Identify what it is that makes us feel charged and go do it!

Now it’s your turn … What do YOU miss most about your pre-mom self?

Is there something you can do to bring it back — even in an adapted form?


Heather is a life coach for moms, a middle school counselor and a mama who is committed to rocking her mojo! She has two extremely “spirited,” independent and strong-willed children who test her, teach her and exhaust her…several times a day!  You can read more about her at My Mama Mojo.