Q of the Week : When do you feel sexy?

I think Anne’s glamorous and sexy here, because of her smileI’m sitting here in a sports bra and sweats, with a cardigan thrown over top because the house got chilly after supper, and I didn’t want to put my stinky running shirt back on, nor did I have time for a shower.  To be completely truthful, the cardigan was pulled out of the “to wash” pile the other day because I decided it wasn’t that dirty (while hunting madly for another layer to wear under my coat).  I don’t look or feel one shred sexy.  I still need that shower, feel pressured to get a lot more work done tonight, and would far rather kick back and watch the Oscars.  I’m consoling myself with some live-blogging updates via the NYT. (Yay, The King’s Speech just won! … speaking of sexy, Colin Firth certainly fits that bill in my book, but I digress …)

The real question is when do you feel sexy?  All the time, rarely, once-a-yearly, randomly, after primping, or just plain never?  It’s such a tricky thing, that feeling, which I can’t summon any more with makeup and curvy clothes, and honestly I’m not sure that I ever did get very close with a lot of effort. 

Sexy seems to happen for me when I’m relaxed, happy, and have a good dose of confidence.  Sure, clothes help, but only if I feel good in them.  It’s not about how glamourous or sparkly or sheer or tight they are, it’s about how they make me feel.  Some days a tank top and jeans is the sexiest combo I can find, other times it takes some boots, a little mascara, and a clingy top with a big necklace.  Sexy happens rarely for me though, I can go days without feeling a shred of it. Some of that has to do with self-care, which I could certainly do a lot better at.  Many days it doesn’t happen at all, beyond making sure my clothes are vaguely clean. 

Sometimes my choice of clothing will make my husband think I look hot, when I don’t feel that way one bit!  I wasn’t trying to channel Jennifer Beals when my sweatshirt slipped off my shoulder at dinner the other night.  The funny thing is that my reaction to his appreciation is often one of irritation, unless I happen to feel the same way.  Why can’t I just enjoy the look and complement, instead of shrugging it off and feeling vaguely grumpy about it?  I really don’t know, the fact that he still finds me attractive after 10 years and 2 kids is certainly something to be happy about! 

So when do you feel attractive, and what does it take?