Being a new mom is both exhilarating and exhausting. Between trying to get the hang of a new sleep schedule, learning how to take care of baby and maintaining a somewhat sane household, there isn’t much time for you. Add in new mommy friends to the mix and you’re left with little time for your pre-baby friends.
But, just because your life has made a major change doesn’t mean that you have to break off your relationships with your single friends. In fact, maintaining those relationships can be healthy, reminding you that you are a multi-dimensional person and there is more to you than your new “job title”.
Here are some tips you can utilize to help combine your single friends with your new mommy job.
Make time to connect
Yes, your busy life has become hectic. Even if you have chosen not to work outside your home, your new bundle of joy has likely drained you from any free time. However, it’s important to take time to connect with your friends. For example, I set “phone dates” with my girlfriends, even if it is only a 15-minute check-in. I have found they appreciate that I am making the time to catch up with them, showing them that they are important to me. Plus, they do not have to play phone tag with me, which can get old quickly for anyone! (And FYI: It doesn’t even have to be every week because remember, they are busy with their own life too!)
Get together for non-baby related activities
While your friends likely love to see your precious baby, they would probably enjoy doing some adult activities with you, too. Arrange for a babysitter and take some time to hang out with your friends alone. Or ask your partner to help watch the kids in the evening so you can go out, which helps save some money.
My friends and I plan a monthly happy hour. It’s right after work hours, which means I am still awake and get home a decent hour. And at the end of the happy hour, we find a date for the next one, which I immediately put on my Google calendar and “invite” my husband so he knows well in advance the night I need him to stay home with the baby.
Share about mommy hood
Moms often make the mistake of assuming their single girl friends don’t want to hear about the mundane tasks they now face in their new mommy role. However, friends are there to support you in your endeavors no matter how boring you think they may be.
So make sure to share a bit about your kids and also - let’s be honest - sometimes we need to vent about our relationships - whether it is about our partners, in-laws, families, etc. I have turned to my friends time and time again when I need to vent about a fight with my husband or issue with my siblings or parents. Relationship issues are something most girlfriends can relate to and help you get through!
Your friends may be interested in hearing about how mommy-hood is going but they probably could do without the graphic details of the latest poo-splosion. When sharing about your new role and your baby, be sure to filter some of the content.
Not sure what information to filter from your conversations? You’re pretty safe in eliminating the three P’s: poop, pee and puke! I find I may give a new fact or two at most about what my child is up to, but after that I stop unless they ask questions.
Over-sharing is true in social media, too. Remember to share about other aspects of your life and not to slam anyone’s inbox or cell phone with 500 pictures and messages about your child. I know I am always tempted to email new pictures to people, but outside of the grandparents - I have set myself with the limit of one email to friends a month. In that email I will simply provide a link to some new pictures of the baby. Just remember: no one (outside of the grandparents) wants a weekly email on your child’s daily life - as precious as each moment may be :).
Sarabeth Rivera is a social media advocate at Credit Donkey. She shares her thoughts on credit card benefits and personal finance. She’s also a new mom and hopes this post will help other moms trying to find themselves outside of their family.