he’s packed for camp, and leaves in the morning for 3.5 weeks. we all know now how it’s going to feel, so he’s beyond giddy, and i’m a little quiet. it will be good. we haven’t been able to savor summer together yet as we’ve been on the go so much, i haven’t once managed to take them to the pool down the street, though i hope to manage that with at least Fynn in the next few weeks. it’s just not that kind of summerRead More
At the beginning of our trip, the boys and I were invited over to an old friend’s house for dinner. By old I mean we’ve all known each other since we were kids, and the stories are simply endless. Between us we have 5 kids, and they all get along well so the adults actually had time to talk without interruption! Reflecting on the trip, I realized that it’s been rather a long time since we’ve had people over, other than for a party.
D goes to camp this week. Wednesday morning to be exact, and I don’t think it really started hitting me until about two days ago. When I started getting his checklist of gear together, realized I didn’t have some of it, and started actually thinking about what was going to happen in just a few days. How I’m going to miss him, despite the freedom of only having one kid at home. How his banter will be missed, and, yes, even some of the blither. His brother is going to be lost without him too. They’ve become such incredibly good friends since I started homeschooling that they’re inseparable, unless D wants to get lost in a book, or build some very fragile creation of course.
Three and a half weeks is a long time.
Edited to add a link to Renee over at FIMBY, a favorite blog of mine, as she’s doing a fun Savoring Summer series of posts … I’d already written this one but it fits the theme rather well, so go on over and check it out!)
I’m glad it’s raining. The damp plants smell good through the window, the sound of the rain somewhat masks Fynn’s banging up in his loft, and Douglas’ burping practice, and I don’t feel guilty for not getting the boys outside yet today. It’s also making it easier to savor the delightful two hours I spent with my family in the Park last night.
We went there just before dark, to join in a Bat Tour of the park with a well-informed naturalist who lives in the neighborhood. We got there right on time (a minor miracle) and had 20 minutes or so to relax before things started. The tour guide started talking about what he was seeing, feeling, and hearing, what those signs meant for our chances of seeing bats. The chimney-swifts were pointed out, and how that they came out not long before the bats, and the more of them there were, the more bats we’d likely see. The humidity and temperature, the cloud-cover, the time of sunset, the types of fireflies and how they interact with each other.
While my head started spinning a bit with information, my awareness of what was going on around me was heightened.
I know it’s Thursday, and the newsletter won’t go out till Monday now, but it’s a good excuse to talk about planners, no? I might need a little help …
I just switched from a DayTimer to a Moleskine planner this year, and I couldn’t be happier. Once I was out of the office and not doing as many appointments/coaching sessions, my days became less structured and the DayTimer just wasn’t cutting it.
I grew up in a family that ate together, prayed together, and often worked together, so almost all our communication was in person. It happened in the car, around the dinner table, or at the kitchen counter. I honestly don’t remember my mom ever raising her voice either. The subjects were rarely heavy, and hardly ever confrontational. Unpleasant or difficult conversations were rare … they just didn’t happen. Once I was a teenager, I would very occasionally get a note left on my desk that explained how my mom felt about some of my choices, referring of course to the things she didn’t like. So there was a lot of conversation, and basic communication, but rarely on an emotional level.
My house is NOT like this.
I don’t know about you, but finding time to talk about the big things is always a challenge. It feels like there are so many other important things to do, that making time for something like talking has a lower priority. It seems to get relegated to the rare date nights, which turns them into something more torturous than a date ever should be! I find that heavy talks, or simply the painful “big subject” ones need a few extra things to make them work.
- Schedule the time and the subject
- Grab a snack
- Get your favorite drinks
- Find a comfortable spot … bring your info to the bed or the couch or the back porch, someplace where you’re both relaxed.
- Put on some music to keep the mood light.
Formalizing it does help in many ways, and is better than relying on a hurried phone conversation, or the 5 minutes when you’re both getting ready in the bathroom in the morning. It doesn’t have to be long, but taking a few minutes to set the stage really helps the discussion along, and keeps it from muddying up the bed or the date or the morning routine. Let me know how it goes!