© Rahti Gorfien 2009
Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of grousing about lack of reciprocity when it comes to watching someone else’s kid(s). ‘I take her kid, and as soon as I ask for coverage, there’s always some excuse…’ I call this Sitter-Debting. Not to brag, but I seem to have the opposite ‘problem’. People won’t take me up on reciprocating! Is it just me? Am I that pathetic? Is my child so fabulous that people feel blessed just having him around? Now I know THAT’S delusional. A friend said recently it’s because I don’t exude neediness around the issue. People sense that if they say no, I’ll be okay; in other words, I’ll manage perfectly well without their help. Well, there may be some accuracy to that observation, but only because I approach child care as a numbers game. I know a lot of parents. I know several with kids who have the same schedule as my son, and with whom he gets along. I won’t presume to say that we’re all so fortunate, but many of us are, even the folks who feel isolated due to being a single parent, or are in the I’m-the-stay-at-home-parent-so-everybody-dumps-their-kids-with-me role.
Now this is touchy. In fact, I’m truly afraid of getting my ass kicked for saying this (metaphorically, of course).