Nothing quite screams “neglected blog!” like an outdated banner, does it? Well, that point is remedied, and it alone should give you a small glimpse into my state of mind. The last month has been a whirlwind, and it shows little sign of settling down.
I’ve been trying to post this all week, but I just haven’t found the time and energy in the same span of quiet time. Giving it a try on Friday night finally!
Having the boys gone for two weeks was an amazing experience. Like I mentioned before, the week alone with my husband was great. I worked a LOT and we had some good downtime together also. Getting away for 5 days in FL the second week was utter bliss. I truly disconnected once I got away from home, away from all the distractions of coulds and shoulds and maybes that surround me here, whether my kids are home or not. Vacation is a different story.
(Escaping with a single girlfriend last year — SaneMom)Being a new mom is both exhilarating and exhausting. Between trying to get the hang of a new sleep schedule, learning how to take care of baby and maintaining a somewhat sane household, there isn’t much time for you. Add in new mommy friends to the mix and you’re left with little time for your pre-baby friends.
But, just because your life has made a major change doesn’t mean that you have to break off your relationships with your single friends. In fact, maintaining those relationships can be healthy, reminding you that you are a multi-dimensional person and there is more to you than your new “job title”.
Here are some tips you can utilize to help combine your single friends with your new mommy job.
Spiffed up and ready to roll …I promised you a weekend recap, and so I shall indulge in one! I spent the last two weeks getting more and more wound up, trying to get Fynn ready for his recital, find outfits, work out girl’s weekend details, and survive another couple of weeks of homeschooling. If you’ve read the blog the last few weeks, the few posts that surfaced made those feelings pretty clear! Not much sleep was had, tempers were frayed at best, and we just barely squeaked by. After a last rehearsal on Thursday night at Fynn’s cello class, I was sure that a) he could play squeakily and off key and no one would be able to hear it thanks to the din of 178 other kids, and b) that it was going to be really really cool to see him on stage at such a fabulous concert hall. 
You know those frantic days (weeks, er, months, perhaps decades??) where you’re sure the day’s tasks are multiplying in the dark, and the faster you tackle them the more there are waiting to be done? It’s been one of those weeks around here, with all of them hinging on today. Fynn has to be at Carnegie Hall by 12:30, so he can be on stage (very briefly) at 2, and then sit quietly until 5pm when it’s over. Without food. (That part is so not happening, I’m sorry but enforcing the no-food ban for a 4-year-old for 4.5 hours?!) My purse will be full of contraband granola bars for him and his friends if I ever get off the computer and on with my list.
Right after the performance, and a celebratory ice cream or two, I’ll hop a train and head off to the Poconos for a girl’s weekend that I’ve hardly been able to look forward to for all the getting ready bits! Technology problems, ant invasions, client deadlines, and the usual daily tasks of housework and homeschooling. It’s pretty much a spin cycle. BUT I am going to get away, and that reality will kick in before the day is over :). Not sure I’ll know what to do with myself. Of if I’ll want to come home again. I’ve realized that the demands of home schooling mean I HAVE to get better about getting bits of daily time alone, whether the running picks up again or I find something else to do by and for myself every day. Getting this pent up is not a pretty thing, and we’re all suffering under it.
I said I was almost enjoying it though, and there’s some truth in that. Getting lots done feels good, keeping busy when I’m fighting the blues is good, and there is satisfaction in checking things off the list, despite it’s tendency to grow. When there’s a hard and fast deadline, like a curtain time or a fixed departure time, there’s that freeing feeling of knowing that whatever doesn’t get done won’t bring the world crashing to a halt. The world, even my little corner of it, doesn’t hand on my lists. It’s about doing what’s in front of me and doing it well, and learning when to say no to things that will just make the schedule even crazier.
So what are you all doing for Memorial Day weekend? (Or just the weekend if it’s a normal one for you.) Cleaning up from disastrous storms, visiting family, doing the BBQ thing, or nothing special and wondering how you’re going to surivive? I hope there’s sun and joy involved no matter what, and that some random stranger does something cool for you … catch up with you all on Tuesday!
Cheers,
SaneMom
I promised 2 weeks ago to update you after my night out to see the movie Fly Away, and I’m finally getting to it. I met up with a friend in the East Village, and we ducked into the theater just as the movie was starting. There was enough light from the screen to see that the place was nearly empty, but it quickly dimmed enough to not acutally be able to see where the rows were! After a bit of groping for seatbacks, we found a place to park.
The film, by Janet Grillo, is a heart-wrenching look at the life and struggles of a single mom (Jeanne) and her teenage daughter Mandy, who is autistic.
One of our very own writers, Darah (aka The Warrior Mom), is up for a Best of Blogs award in her home state of Florida! Can you take a sec to help her win? Deets below, and thanks in advance!
To vote for Darah’s blog before closing at 10AM EST April 11th, go to this link:
http://interactive.sun-sentinel.com/best-of-blogs/2011/voting/?vote_for=205#205 
Scroll down to “Family Blogs,” and look for “The Warrior Mom” blog. You need to create a username and password to vote. You won’t be solicited for anything and Darah really appreciates you taking your time to do this! Thank you!
Image courtesy of Samantha Steele, via Flickr.It’s one thing to recognize we live in a youth obsessed culture, but once you’ve hit 40, you’re officially on the other side: No Longer Youthful.
Yeah, magazines preaching to the peri-menopausal set can prattle on about how “40 is the new 30,” but we all know that’s b.s.. 40 is the threshold for belly fat, for official skinny face, and for behinds which seem to want to drop off the back of us, as if they’re seeking a new owner found on the sidewalk.
It’s pretty funny to me that one of the most common arguments against homeschooling is the lack of socialization. My kids get together with other groups of kids pretty regularly, make new friends at the park often, and talk to more adults than average because I make them ask their own questions when we’re out and about on our daily walks. I had the same fears before considering homeschooling, and I get where the questioning comes from, but I really don’t think it’s an issue unless your kids never ever leave the house. 
I had a crappy day today. It wasn’t anything in particular, but rather a venting of pressure from some things I’ve become aware of but haven’t yet found a way to change. I’ve done a ton of journaling in the last 6 months, had a few very vivid dreams about my life path, and have pinpointed some specific things I’d like to change my perspective on. Another way of putting that would be “I’m therapist hunting, and options are limited with a miniscule budget.” I haven’t felt very sane at all, with piles of riled up emotions looking for an easy outlet. One friend challenged me tonight to write my next newsletter on being an InSane Mom … not a bad idea! 
I’ve been doing a lot of digging lately, deep into my guts where there are things buried that I haven’t even thought of in years. Things that were more than I could bear to process at the time, so I stuffed them in. I didn’t even realize it until a friend challenged me to write about some of the things that make me frustrated and angry. I’m that way a lot more often than I realize, and it’s been a hard thing to acknowledge. Trying to get to the root of what makes me feel that way has produced some surprising results. I found blanks in my memory that shouldn’t be that way, and it hurts to dig into why. I’ve been raw, and feeling some delayed emotional reactions to things that happened 10 years ago and more. I referred to the cycle of things awhile back, and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in it all. We all have our rough spots, and this is one of mine. 
Do you ever feel caught up?
I’ve been trying for ages to arrange a coffee date with a girlfriend I haven’t seen in months. Below is a snippet of our last exchange:
(me) no i didn’t get out, been swamped and feeling rather
overwhelmed this week with work and not enough time to fit it in.(d) oh, how I know the feeling!
Sound familiar? I spend so much of my life feeling swamped and behind, and it feels nasty. I know a lot of it is about unrealistic expectations (dusting anyone?!), and some of it is just the endless mountain of daily requirements to keep the household functional. I know from past posts that I’m certainly not the only one that does the majority of the day-to-day organization and I’ve mentioned before how unrealistically high I tend to set the bar for myself. These things don’t help either!
Some days are better than others, but I only feel “caught up” about 10% of the time. The other measure is that I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel about 40% of the time, and the other half is just average days that where I never get done what I hoped, but I don’t beat myself up about it.
And you? Please share your answer in the comments.
I’m headed out of state for the weekend, to hang out with a bunch of girlfriends, and I’m finally getting excited :). I’ve done what I can to make things easy on the home-front, and just have to wait for a few things in the dryer before going to catch my bus. I desperately need a couple of days out of the city, and getting to go solo is a big bonus!
Girl time is something I can’t live without. And you?
Thoughts on the value of girlfriends … perfectly put. Motherhood without girlfriends is unthinkable!