What We've Lost

Yesterday’s shootings in CT have left me chilled, heartsick, and quiet.  Breaking the silence to share a few things that I think we’ve lost as a nation, beyond the tragedy of the lives that were taken, a pool of grief and sorrow that I can’t begin to fathom.  I only feel it’s slippery edges.  

We’ve lost our ability to hope, and most of our trust.  We grab at it in bits and pieces, but the fabric has become threadbare and full of gaping wounds.  We hope that the government will fix it, or laws will curb it, but we look for somewhere to put the blame.  We’ve lost the ability to filter our inputs, both physical and emotional, and it’s suffocating us.  We’ve lost sight of forgiveness.  We’ve lost our ability to look at wrongs without thinking of revenge and payback.  We’ve stopped assuming personal responsibility for our lives.  We’ve lost the ability to lift each other up, day after day, without a tragedy to wake us up, and that briefly.  Why does it take a Sandy or a Newtown to make us look each other in the eye, and hold each other’s fragile hearts?  Without love, we are empty.  Without hope, we are lost. Without faith, we have no vision.  

Community, resentment, and connecting the dots

Stumbling across The BadAssMama Chronicles site yesterday got me thinking. In particular, this post about resenting changes hit home, and I started connecting the dots between some things that have been swirling around in my head lately.  Community, and how it works (or not) in today’s society.  Resentment and frustration (mine particularly) and what’s been causing it.  More things that came to me in the shower this morning, and I hope come back before I’m done writing.  I’m not the only one who thinks best in the shower, am I? 
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Showing up, and the touch of a genius

I’m more affected than I expected to be upon hearing of Steve Jobs’ passing yesterday.  He was a great man, and I won’t try to add any real perspective to the tributes flowing deep and wide all over.  I simply loved his demeanor, his turtlenecks, and his seemingly indefatigable passion for making things that work well and are actually a delight to use.  Not to mention sexy.  I’ve long loved all things Apple, even though I stopped being able to afford Macs for my design work years ago and had to settle for my well-hated PC. 
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The weight of the world

It only takes one.  One little snippet of news, that strikes me in a particular way, and my insides start turning around in messy circles.  I can feel my shield of trust start to crack, that blessed thing that keeps me going despite fears and worries and what-if’s.  I’m actually not much of a worrier, but I do keep that assumption that everything will be just fine wrapped around me like a favorite quilt.  Then something pierces my armor, that soft and gentle armor, and my eyes are opened for awhile to the pain all around me.  The weight of the world.
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I am so done with this week

The mask is finally finished! I wished it fit me today, so I could hide behind it and just breathe heavily and growl a bit …Breaking the silence on Friday night to say this week has beaten me.  It started well enough, but I’m glad it’s Friday night and I can close the books on this week of school, and pray my mood doesn’t continue through the weekend!  The last straw today was the cats knocking the new camera onto the floor (it was lying on the washing machine this time) and cracking the casing open.  I cried into my taco meat in frustration, and gave up.  It’s been a long week.
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The New Bugaboo Jacka**… er, Donkey (guest post from Jenny)

My daughter is now nine, so admittedly I haven’t had to think about strollers for years. However, I remember the hunt well.

I must have gone through three different varieties of stroller before hitting the one that worked (and it wasn’t flawless, it just worked well).  As a mother-to-be, I registered for what everyone told me was the single “best” stroller on the market: a fully loaded Peg Perego.  This monster was supposed to last Anna from infancy onwards, but it didn’t work out that way.  Despite the fancy detachable infant seat, the huge wheels (like a 16-wheeler for babies, it was), and the frame that wouldn’t have budged during an F4 tornado, the Peg was an epic fail.  Anna hated the seat and screamed in it the majority of the time; the seat seemed a bit stubborn to “click” in and out of the car.  That sturdy frame needed both hands to manage.  And there was this particularly memorable moment in a mall parking lot when it refused to fold.

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Tuesday Ten

Just re-found this pic, it’s been 10 years since this was printed, and I’m no longer a member, but I still barefoot whenever I can get away with it! The weather is looking mighty good for such things, I have to say. I’m borrowing directly from Kizz over at 117 Hudson today, and posting a list.  A random list.  For some reason I can’t seem to focus enough to write anything else, so here you go …

  1. I’m going out tonight to see this movie, and I’m looking forward to the venue, the company, and the subject matter.  I’m sure I’ll come home touched, and probably stuffed too if I can find some good GF food in the area. 
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Quick Favor Request for Darah

One of our very own writers, Darah (aka The Warrior Mom), is up for a Best of Blogs award in her home state of Florida!  Can you take a sec to help her win?  Deets below, and thanks in advance!

To vote for Darah’s blog before closing at 10AM EST April 11th, go to this link:


Scroll down to “Family Blogs,” and look for “The Warrior Mom” blog.  You need to create a username and password to vote.  You won’t be solicited for anything and Darah really appreciates you taking your time to do this!  Thank you!

The Web of Empathy

These 4 lovelies are all ok, so thankful. Hearing about the tsunami and quake in Japan was a shocking surprise yesterday morning.  I learned of it from a Japanese friend’s FB status, moments before bolting out the door to an appointment. I immediately felt relief that she was ok, clicked through to a hard-to-take-in news story about it, and felt a deeper twinge of sorrow as I discovered that one of the hardest hit cities, Sendai, was one that I’d been to years ago.
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Friday Roundup ... Feelings anyone?

Image courtesy of MrClean1982via Flickr. CCI’ve noticed something in myself in the last week, and now that I’m aware of it I can’t stop feeling it … I dramatically hunch up my shoulders when I feel any tension whatsoever.  It’s completely unnecessary, explains why my shoulders are usually as hard as rocks, and makes me look like I’m, well, tense!  I had no awareness of how literally they were raised until I caught myself doing it this week.  Where do you hold your feelings? 

This realization may partly have come from reading an article by Annie Fox this week, which I strongly related to.  It’s called A Little Breakfast and a Big Lesson in Emotional Intelligence, and it really hit home for me, as it talks about hiding your feelings. Please go check it out!

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Q of the Week : How do you talk to your kids about disasters?

Given the events of the last week, I can’t think of any other question for today.  We’re pretty (deliberately) media-starved in this house, so any news the boys get comes mostly from the net, via us.  We finally sat down with them at dinner last night and explained earthquakes and rippling earth and tectonic plates, collapsing buildings, orphans, mass graves, and widespread destruction.  Not in graphic detail mind you, but the concepts.  We got out the globe and pointed out Haiti, and looked at some news photos.  They did watch some earthquake videos on YouTube, and then spent the rest of the meal shaking the table to pretend we were having one, and asking questions about various scenarios, should we ever be in a disaster like that. 
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Guest Post : Godzilla Mommy

With the holiday today and everyone home, we spent the day sleeping in, putting together, flying, and losing Douglas’ first model rocket, and in the aftermath of that there just wasn’t time for a proper newsletter.  Tomorrow!  So today you get treated to a guest post courtesy of Rahti Gorfien, thanks Rahti!

Godzilla Mommy

Contemplations Regarding a Mother from Another Planet

by Rahti Gorfien

Last night I heard about an orthodox Jewish woman here in NYC who has 17 children and works full time as the principle of an elementary school.  That’s right.  You read me.  Works full time and has 17 kids.

I wanna talk to her. 

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Helping Haiti

While I’m under a media-rock much of the time (no TV or papers, thank you very much) I do get wind of the major stories, albeit a bit late.  Should have posted this yesterday, but here’s a good list of 6 ways to help Haiti, and there are lots more options in the comments section there.

Partners in Health (PIH) — an organization doing wonderful health care work in Haiti — has been given a matching grant by an organization called Angelwish.  Angelwish will double your contibution to Partners in Health for the Haiti relief effort if you contribute through the Angelwish website. http://www.angelwish.org/?gclid=CNrStbvJpJ8CFRtN5QodAnaPJw

Looking to check the worthiness of your chosen charity?  This might help: http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=content.view&cpid=1004

It’s hard to see/hear of such horrible devastation, and have no direct avenues to help.  Prayer and donations are the only viable responses for most of us, followed by a huge wave of thankfulness for what we do have, and the ease with which we have it.  Any specific prayer requests, or other ways to help?