I’ve noticed something in myself in the last week, and now that I’m aware of it I can’t stop feeling it … I dramatically hunch up my shoulders when I feel any tension whatsoever. It’s completely unnecessary, explains why my shoulders are usually as hard as rocks, and makes me look like I’m, well, tense! I had no awareness of how literally they were raised until I caught myself doing it this week. Where do you hold your feelings?
This realization may partly have come from reading an article by Annie Fox this week, which I strongly related to. It’s called A Little Breakfast and a Big Lesson in Emotional Intelligence, and it really hit home for me, as it talks about hiding your feelings. Please go check it out!
It’s been a sad week here in the neighborhood too, as a local mom my age with 3 young kids was killed a couple of blocks away while riding her Vespa. I can’t begin to imagine how you would go on, and how you would tell your kids, the thought of it makes me shudder. A friend went to a vigil for her a few days later, and when talking to a relative found out that the kids still don’t know what happened, they’ve somehow put that conversation off for a few days, though how I can’t imagine when the oldest is ten. I also can’t guess how I’d react in a tragedy like that, I don’t think anyone can predict … but I’m betting I couldn’t keep it from my kids, I’d need to deal with it with them. I remember as a child finding that one of my uncles had died, but having a very strong sense that something was being hidden from me (I was about 8 or so I think?). It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I found out that he’d committed suicide, and then all the weirdness surrounding his death made complete sense. That line between being honest with your kids, but also not giving them more than they can handle … it’s a tricky and very personal one I think. I tend to tell almost everything as it comes up, preferring to deal with it then rather than later. It’s backfired a few times though, when they’ve used the info in a damaging way.
I wrote awhile back about how to handle emotions too, and it’s worth re-reading I think … If You’re Happy and You Know It: The Three R’s of Handling Emotions.
One last link, the lovely Jenn @ Juggling Life has kept alive the Full Confessional Friday that was started over at the closed-up WC, and I think it’s a great idea … share away, and stay anonymous if you wish!