Happy monday and sorry right off the bat for the heavy question, but it just seems the time to ask it! How much of your week do you spend wishing things were different, vs. being happy in or at least accepting the moment? I find myself often wishing for other things, and not quite settling for what I have or what my life is like. It’s an undercurrent of discontent that I’d like to banish, but still have trouble with. It’s part itch, part wistfulness, part a heavy sadness for the way things are generally in the world, and always the desire to be doing something that is closer to my heart and more tangibly entwined in the earth and living (as opposed to working to live).
Someone said to me a few months ago “there is no THERE” and it’s stuck with me. It’s true, I’m not going to arrive at a magical destination where my life it perfect, it’s about living it fully and enjoying it for what it is … there is much to do and much to enjoy, and I need to embrace what’s in front of me. Like yesterday: we threw a big (for us) BBQ in the backyard and it involved a lot of cooking and planning and setup. Aside from a last-minute frenzy when the burgers were ready and the toppings weren’t, I was able to mingle and enjoy myself and my guests and really have a good time. I started to get antsy to clean up around 10 though, and there were still a few friends here who I really wanted to hang out with. I sat on the porch at war with myself, not fully enjoying their fellowship as I was itching to get the massive cleanup job underway, but really preferring to hang out. Caught between enjoyment and responsibility, and fully doing neither. I kept myself from working, and mostly relaxed until they left, and then tackled job with my husband until it was done.
To answer my own question, I spend a lot of my week wishing things were different. It’s not an overwhelming feeling, but a current that colors a lot of my week. Where are you on the contentment spectrum?