A Cool sculpture at the Bring To Light festival we went to this past weekend. I think fall has stolen my brain cells, I swear they’re leeching away as the sun gets lower in the sky! It wasn’t until two hours after D’s chess class started that I noticed last week’s class in my planner, and realized I never wrote it in for today! I’m not feeling badly about it and am thankful that he was at the library with his dad at the time, so by the time he got home he didn’t care all that much about it. Mom forgot, plain and simple!
I can’t remember everything like I used to, and I think it’s my gradual change of focus from me to us to all of us that’s the root of it. I used to happily keep my checkbook in my head, remember appointments for weeks in advance without writing them down, and get almost everything on my grocery list without ever looking at it, if I even bothered to write one. Sure I forgot things, but overall I felt like I could stay on top of things, even big events, with minimal writing. I was pretty organized too when it came to digital files, work files, and papers and receipts.
Now? I’m having trouble even remembering what that felt like. I simply can’t do it any more, and while forgetting appointments isn’t common, it still not surprising to me given how my brain works these days. I can’t keep it all straight in my head anymore. I’ve managed to get pretty organized about my homeschooling, which I’ve HAD to do or it just doesn’t happen. It’s one more thing to keep track of though, one more task that gets added to the daily list of musts. I’m pretty much the schedule-keeper for the entire family, and as both my husband and I freelance there are a lot of variables to take into account.
I don’t know how you all do it, especially those of you who have kids in different schools and sports and lessons and clubs and all the trappings of teenagehood. My kids aren’t at that stage yet, and I dread it. I also hate the feeling that I’m dependent on a piece of paper or a computer or a fancy phone to keep track of my lists … why can’t my brain be enough? Part of it is rebellion against the complexity of life that seems to be the norm, and the feeling that I’m running in circles instead of moving forward. Some of it is aging (yes those brain cells are dying off, no matter what I hope otherwise) and some of it is simply that caring for and about 4 people is a lot more intensive than caring for one. My wits are scattered about in a vain attempt to keep track of four people’s socks and wishes and favorites and papers and power cords and memory cards and to-dos and heights and accomplishments. It’s not very sanity-inducing, and I have to know when to let go and just give over the responsibility to those who should be taking it on themselves anyway, or bear the consequences.
So today? I forgot a biggish one but that’s just how it is. It’s in the calendar for next week, and my wee brain has managed to remember that we agreed last week to have it then despite the fact that it’s Columbus day, though I really should go email the organizer to confirm.
What have you forgotten recently? Anything big and drama-inducing? Do tell, the juicier the better :). For the record I’ve been known to forget many birthdays (including my own siblings), leave behind things I’ve bought, forget keys and promises and meetings and playdates and phone calls and bills and don’t get me started on forgetting names! I forget them all the time, and often remember them 5 minutes after the person has left the room, kicking myself of course. If you’ve been one of the kindly souls who have pretended that you don’t remember my name either, thank you! Some of you are in the same boat I know, and really can’t remember either. So, do tell, what’s a bit I forgot! moment in your past?