I have this thing about technology that drives me nuts. I love to conquer it, make it do what I want, and then move on. I love learning new things, but hate doing them over and over. I've taught myself pretty much everything I know about web design, domain hosting, email routing, and all that jazz, but I don't keep good records. That means I set up a home network, but forget to write the passwords down in a place I'll find them again. I figure out how to point a subdomain of my site over to blogger so I can host my blog hidden from my clients, and then forget that's what I did and move my site to a new host and lose my blog. I can't seem to undo it to get it back, so have to change the url with no warning. Those random readers didn't matter so much I guess, not that I get many comments.
I'm bent on simplifying my online/email world, and so set about it with intensity, abandon, and frustration last week. I want it all done overnight. I neglect my kids, get short tempered, go without sleep I really need, and lose my focus. I seem to be all or nothing with project. I like to get totally lost in them until they're done, and that doesn't work with a family. I have to set some kind of boundaries, and even if I do I don't stick to them. The hard part is it really works well to go whole hog ... I keep my mind wrapped around the problem, don't need to write it down, and stay in hyper-productive mode for hours at at time. Then I collapse.
The other tailspin, the What do I Do Next one, is still playing out. I haven't posted in days because I'm stewing too much. The conclusion for the time being seems to be that I'll do websites for money, using this handy squarespace service I love/hate so much, and see if I can make more money at that than coaching. I've lost my passion for it, lost it awhile ago and wasn't able to admit it. It's not that I'm afraid I'm not good at it, I know I am, but it's not fufilling enough. I need faster payoffs, and talking to someone 3x a month means I can't see enough progress to get satisfaction from it. I love coaching type conversations, but once again, it feels like something that I'm good at but don't want to make a career out of. So I'm taking a break, perhaps a permanent one, and will be putting up some referrals on my coaching site to other mom coaches and see how it goes. I still want to do this site, but won't refer it back to coaching. I get to do some coaching-type interactions there which helps.
I have too many obligations to write/produce, too many email addresses, and too many directions. I figure ditching a few won't hurt. I'm continuing to unsubcribe from mailing lists I rarely read, and trying to convert the ones I do want to keep to email addresses I also want to keep. I have to keep from doing it all at once however. The world won't fall apart if I don't get it all done tonight.
I'm going to spend 20 minutes on the splash-page attempt of my design site, post it on fb if I get it done, leave my client work and newsletter for tomorrow, slather chinese liniment on my sciatica that I got after running today, take an ibuprofen, and hop into bed with a new book.