I’m obviously more or less a SAHM, with a WAHM component that fluctuates wildly. Much of that fluctuation is due to procrastination, because quite frankly I may be a very competent web designer, but I don’t *want* to do it unless I have to, or it’s for personal reasons. I love a good challenge, but not when money/reputation/groceries are on the line. I don’t want to have to work. There, I said it. I don’t. I’m sick and tired of it, and while I find it fulfilling and empowering and challenging and all that, I’m tired of it.
I turn into a real bitch when I try to work while the kids are around. It’s ugly, bad, and just plain shouldn’t be done. My paying work needs to move into the non-kid hours that come after 9pm, by which time I’m tired and want out or to just relax. I’m 90% convinced that I need to pull D from school and teach him at home for the rest of the year, which obviously cuts down even more on my work/alone time. If I could take the “must do every project I can find” mentality and change it to “work for extras when you feel like it” that would be just peachy. But it’s a fact of the current landscape that I have to work for now. We can’t afford me not to. And now I want to homeschool.
Where DO I fit it in? One hour during nap/reading time in the afternoon won’t cut it, and I’ll have to earmark 10-12 or 1 at night. Either that or my husband gets steady work. I don’t see any other way. I also *have* to get more disciplined about the time I do have, as I deserve a Fritter Queen t-shirt on most days. I am a queen fritterer!
I know the real problem. It’s not work I’m dying to do, hence the frittering. If I was in love with it, I’d gladly do it into the wee hours. I’m just not in love. I’m capable, but that doesn’t make it a good idea. Yes, I’ve circled around and found my tail, and really am not much closer to anything. My original question was where do you fit your own work in? I’m still curious about the answer, if you have any solutions that work for you, but I’d also like to know how much you love what you do? Are you so antsy to get to it every chance you have that you just make it work? Or is it a la-de-da take it or leave it kind of thing that you simply do because you have to?
Thanks for listening to my rambles :).