Some moms seem to have this thing all figured out. They never get frazzled, their kids always behave, they are on time for every event, look put together (even at the gym), and still have time to make cute cupcakes. If these women complain at all about their children or how it has changed their life, it is done in a light-hearted manner and the tiny rant always ends with…”but isn’t it all worth it?”
Well no, sometimes it is not!
Sometimes I would like to trade them in! I rather miss my old life!
Mamas, it is OK to say this! Motherhood isn’t all sunshine and roses, and to those who claim it so, I don’t believe you.
I do believe however, that some women are naturally better at it. They are more patient, more nurturing and instinctively know what to do in any given situation. They don’t let tantrums get to them, they find humor in back talk and they function well with very little sleep. Nothing gives them greater joy then to care for their children. Their MOM-O-METERS are way high. For them, mothering is a gift and they are damn good at it!
If you are not innately any of these things, it is OK. Your meter just needs a little attention. As with anything in life we have born talents and skills and areas we strive to improve. If you haven’t mastered the art of motherhood just yet, it doesn’t mean you can’t. You just need some new tools and fresh perspectives on your role.
You may be entering uncharted territory. Perhaps you were great at the baby stage and are at a loss now when your toddler lays down in the grocery store and has an exorcist moment. Maybe your carefree, easy child just entered puberty and you have been thinking of selling him for $1.25 (or to the highest bidder).
We also have varying levels of confidence in the stages and ages of our children. For me, I think I watched the clock tick the entire time my children were babies, waiting for their first birthday. I did not like the baby stage to say the least. My husband and I viewed first birthdays as a celebration that we had made it through “baby hell!” Now my children are 3 and 5, a different kind of challenge … but one I am confident to handle.
It is OK if you are feeling vulnerable, unsure, or down right frustrated. This is the roller coaster ride of motherhood! Ditch the guilt, admit you don’t always love it or know what to do and create a plan to improve your MOM-O-METER.
With you in your “tune up,”
Heather is a life coach for moms, a middle school counselor and a mama who is committed to rocking her mojo! She has two extremely “spirited,” independent and strong-willed children who test her, teach her and exhaust her…several times a day! You can read more about her at My Mama Mojo.