If you’ve wandered the web today, you likely came across some black-out sites. Self-censored in protest of the SOPA and PIPA legislation currently before the US congress, which will end up allowing censorship of the web (among other things) if it goes through. Please check it out, and do something if you can.
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I saw Pina last night, a 3D movie about the choreographer Pina Bausch. I knew nothing about her prior to going, other than seeing the trailer several times. It was beautiful, full of raw emotional dance that was almost painful to watch. I loved it, but was a bit unsettled by it. I think it’s because I feel pretty emotionally tight most of the time (nothing new there) and found the visual and emotional vulnerability almost too much to watch. Freeing in a way, but a world I felt like I was peering into, not stepping into. Kizz has a great review if you want a bit more of a taste.
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I started running again last week, and it’s slow going. I’ve only gone a few times, for 30 minutes or less, but it’s been enough to tighten up my neck and shoulders to the breaking point. Perhaps some stretching is in order? M rubbed some chinese liniment into it this afternoon, which helped a bit, but it will take time. It’s hard not to run comparisons in my mind, as I jog along, to my runs of a year ago. Everything feels stiff and creaky and sludgy, but I tell myself that it still feels better than it did when I first started 5 years ago. A shorter climb this time around, should I choose to climb at all … for now I’m enjoying getting out and having a bit of time to myself, and getting that little energy kick. I need to be gentle to myself.
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I’ve been reading a LOT of teen lit lately. It started out in the guise of “checking things out before Douglas reads them” but has morphed into snitching books out from under his sleeping body at night so I can get a few chapters in before he wakes up. I’ve read more in the last 8 months than in the previous 5 years put together. Does it have anything to do with the running hiatus, which seems to match that timeframe exactly? Probably, I’ve not been dragging myself out of bed at dawn, that’s for sure, so I stay up later.
Latest reads, in case you get the bug … The Gideon Trilogy
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One other bit of reading, which is more in the ‘think about real life’ category, is a (currently free e-) book by Tsh Oxenreider that’s called Organized Simplicity. I’m Kindle-ing my way through it, but it fits my current state of mind pretty well. The I’m in my 40s now and feel entitled to a little reflection and is this really where I’ve ended up? thoughts. It’s a taking-stock kind of feeling, more than an oh-no thing, but I’m rather keen to kill the clutter (habit-wise as well as stuff-wise) and be a little more purposeful in the choices I make. I commented to a friend recently that I felt like 95% of my life was reactionary, and I don’t like that feeling. Checking in on the deeper feelings about life, not just the where-is-the-grocery-money-going-to-come-from kind of questions. The daily mental chatter tends to crowd out the What am I doing with my life? queries that seem to be trying to surfac a little more often these days. I’m trying to give them space to do so.