Or does it manage you?
Between the rapidly approaching birth of my next child, a friend who is getting married in five days, and clients tackling various priority and scheduling issues, it feels like its time to talk about time! I met a man at a party on Memorial Day who was quite emphatic that in this country (and NYC in particular I think) we’ve lost sight of the ideal time-management equation. He declared that the best scenario was eight hours each of work, sleep, and relaxation should make up your day. While I stood there and mentally computed all the things that must then fall under the category “relaxation” in my life, I did have to concede that he had a point. How do we spend our time?
As adults, we generally have a choice in how we spend each minute. All 1,440 of them in any given day. It may be a choice made years ago, such as committing to a job, coupled with the daily choice to honor that commitment. How about the daily choice to sleep that extra magic nine minutes on the snooze button, or the momentary decision to eat cold pizza for breakfast? They’re all time choices, and we make them continuously. The key is how aware we are of what we’re choosing.
How aware are you of how you actually spend your time? Does the day fly by feeling like it’s out of your control and being ‘managed’ by someone else, or do you consciously decide how to divide up your time? Are you always late, always early, or somewhere in between? I confess to being a “usually a few minutes late” person myself. I chose to change that when I started my coaching business, and have made myself more aware of exactly how long things take, and keep up my commitment to always starting on time. The difference between sitting quietly for a few minutes with my notes and a cup of tea ... and scrambling for a notebook while dialing the phone, becomes obvious rather quickly to both me and my clients.
How much structure do you have to your days? How much do you want or need? I’ve found that as my son gets older and my belly gets rounder with another child, that how I manage time is becoming more and more critical. I see the effects on my son of ‘rushing’ him from place to place, and choose more and more to make spontaneous decisions. I choose to not box myself in as much with time constraints and tight deadlines. Part of life with a family means that there are a lot of commitments and coordinating that goes on, but the process can still be managed. How you use your time is a continual choice, not a mandate from “father time”.
Simply put:
- Be aware of how you spend your time: track it for a few days if you have to, write it down, get a clear picture of where you’re at
- Decide how you feel about your choices. Are they the way you want them? Are you committed to eight hours sleep but only getting five because you’re more committed to something else?
- Choose to change your habits, ONE piece at a time. Remapping your life all at once is guaranteed to end in frustration. Pick one priority that you want to shift, and ...
- Set boundaries around it to make it happen.
- Communicate to others involved, set timers, eliminate commitments, do whatever it takes.
- Keep as much spontaneous time as you can, but also ...
- Know your distractions, and make sure you choose them consciously.
Manage your time, don’t let it manage you. I’ve been there, and know that my choices lead to my time issues. Choose well!