I just finished reading Love and Other Impossible Pursuits, by Ayelet Waldman. I’d seen her books recommended many times, and when stalking the library shelves yesterday for the first time in ages, I saw her name and grabbed the only book they had by her. I devoured it: her writing is luminous, sharp, and stark all at once. As I finished it less in just over a day, you might say I was hooked :).
What struck me personally about it was the way the main character felt about her father. She loved and respected him tremendously, and then was bitterly disappointed when some of his hidden failings came to light. Her anger over it laced its way into other relationships and added some lovely complications. I won’t spoil it any further if you want to read it :).
I’m definitely a daddy’s girl. I’m much like my father in many many ways, and have always shared a pile of interests with him, like being on the water, wilderness canoeing, technology, house remodeling, building things, and who knows what else. We share many traits too, like stoicism, listening well, mediation, and talking too much when we’re tired :).
I love my dad tremendously, and it took longer than most for me to move my trust from him to my husband. I remember going caving together around the time we got engaged, my whole family and their spouses/kids together, along with Michael. There was a point at which we had to stomach-crawl through a pitch-black tunnel, and I found myself following my dad through the tunnel, though Michael had tried to get me to follow him and I was too scared. That rankled him a bit! It’s not the case any more, but I do still care what he thinks.
My dad hasn’t disappointed me in any huge way, but our lives have gone in different directions and I know I’ve disappointed him greatly. Its funny but I don’t imagine I’ll ever stop feeling a bit badly about that. The desire to please is insanely deeply rooted in me, and so its rather logical that I’ll do a lot of disappointing along the way. I posted a comment on a blog yesterday that it’s tyranny to live your life to everyone else’s expectations, and that’s true, but it’s hard to let go of the desire to please those you love. In many ways, I’m still a daddy’s girl.
The boys need my attention, and my computer is still laboring away on its first full backup (!) so I’ll sign off for now. Any other Daddy’s Girls out there?