Moving in slow motion, or not at all

Sparrow keeping a hand on Douglas last week, when he was feeling cruddy one night and ended up in our bed too. I’m lying in bed sick, recovering from some kind of bug yesterday that involved fever and puking, thankfully mostly during the night though.  My boys brought me a snack in bed this morning, which stayed down, and my husband got home in time to take over for the rest of the day, so glad for that!  I’m starting to feel human, and the house is quiet as they just left for the library. 
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Q of the Week : Any dietary restrictions in your family?

Image courtesy of clevercupcakes via Flickr.I’ve been on a wheat-free/mostly Gluten-free diet for about a month now, along with my older son.  I started it because I’ve suspected he was intolerant for awhile now, thanks to itchiness and irritability issues, and I had an idea that my body wasn’t that fond of processing it either.  Also, it’s much easier to get him to cut out some of his favorite foods when I’m doing it with him!  I could see a big change in how I felt within two weeks, but it’s hard to get much quantifiable information out of him on how he feels. 
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Breathe Coaching deadline approaching ...

Just a quick reminder mamas, Heather’s Breathe : Group Coaching for Moms signup deadline is this coming Friday the 29th … get your mojo on and give it a whirl if you’re anywhere near Baltimore!  Deets here, hope you can make it!


Happy Easter and Passover too, may your weekend be a relaxing one :). 

Q of the Week : (Manic) Meme Monday

Last year’s magnolia gorgeousness …Quick one here, it’s almost noon and I don’t have much time before the boys clamor for lunch.  Yes, I’m running behind (go figure!) so a quick post on my end means you can answer in 5 words.  I’ll make it a wee bit more interesting by telling you why I’m asking these questions.



1.  Favorite flower?  … because Fynn spent his entire cello lesson this morning staring out the window at the magnolia tree which is about to burst into full bloom

2.  Last time you ate chocolate? … I had my frequent late-night snack last night of a tiny dish of peanut butter, with a dab of butter, a drip of honey, and a not-so-tiny sprinkling of chocolate chips on top.  mmmm.

3.  Mood right now? … mine changes so fast it’s not funny, and I’m struggling with crabby frustration but want to let it go. 

4.  What hurts? … I tripped and fell while running yesterday, scraping up my hands and knees pretty well.  Fared better than Darah though, who fell off her bike last night and lost some teeth, broke her jaw, fractured her skull, and more! Please send some healing thoughts/prayers her way.  Ouch!

5.  Word for today?  … I just picked one, because I need it.  It’s RELAX. 

Thanks for playing!

Live near Baltimore, Mamas? This one's for you!

You remember the lovely Heather, of My Mama Mojo, right?  She’s written some great stuff for SaneMoms in the past, and has spent the last few months focusing on her coaching biz. 

The good news is, for those of you in the greater Baltimore area, she’s offering a Breathe : Group Coaching For Moms class next month!  It’s affordable, takes just 4 weeks, and offers two convenient time slots to choose from.  I’d go if I was within striking distance for sure, I’ve gotten too bogged down lately and need a sounding board and some “mmhmm, me too!” moments in my week. 

What’s it about?  Teaching moms how to listen to their hearts, quiet their minds, and thrive as women and moms! Tame the chaos, sort priorities, and feel more joy while raising your kids. You’ll come away energized, refreshed, validated, and ready to tackle your many roles with new eyes and positive perspectives.

The deets?  Click here for details and to register, the cutoff is April 29 so don’t miss out!

If the info looks a bit familiar to some, yes the Breathe content is originally from SaneMoms, and I’m so glad it’s being shared with some of you by such a great coach!

Confessions of a Mommy Playgroup Reject (by Jenny Heitz)

Image courtesy of Joe Shlabotnik via FlickrIt’s been almost ten years since my daughter was born, and a lot has happened. But, one of the things that still stands out for me from the early days of motherhood is my first experience with a playgroup.

Motherhood did not come easily to me. I was 33 when Anna was born (the first of my friends to have a baby), and I ended up with some bad post partum depression. I didn’t really emerge from my hopeless depressive fog until about six months had passed. At that point, Anna was a very cute, tiny, and crabby baby who seemed to need a lot of stimuli. So, I took her to one of those Mommy and Me type classes in West Hollywood.

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Q of the Week : How are you taking care of yourself these days?

Image courtesy of Coffeegeek, via Flickr. Looks yummy, yes? Anything with muddled coffee and sugar and blood orange, spiked of course, has to be good! Click the pic for the recipe :). This issue is an old one, but so central to the premise of SaneMoms that it’s worth revisiting.  It was brought to mind again by a comment on Christina’s Inside and Out post.

And sometimes I find you even have to defend those moments when you are doing something for yourself, right? My husband lately realized that I was steadily making my way through a series of books and some nasty comments came out about how lucky I was to have time to sit and read during the day while he’s at work and late home every night this week… My response that one of us had to stay sane competely stumped him. I had to fight off my own guilt too about being able to sit quietly for an hour each day, but seriously, if I don’t take care of myself and we BOTH lose it, what good does that do?

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Socializing and Homeschooling

It’s pretty funny to me that one of the most common arguments against homeschooling is the lack of socialization.  My kids get together with other groups of kids pretty regularly, make new friends at the park often, and talk to more adults than average because I make them ask their own questions when we’re out and about on our daily walks.  I had the same fears before considering homeschooling, and I get where the questioning comes from, but I really don’t think it’s an issue unless your kids never ever leave the house. 
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Q of the Week : When do you let yourself ask for help?

At least they sometimes help each other … The wording of this question is the key.  When do you allow yourself to ask for help with things?  I’m betting it’s more complicated for some than others, and I’m currently scrambling to get things done before leaving on vacation but have yet to ask for much help.  When will I think it’s ok?!  I hate obligating people, or being in their debt (yes it’s part of my control issues!) so I always prefer to do it myself if I possibly can.  I like helping others though, so why would I assume they enjoy doing the same?  Riiiight.  Silly question. 

So, when do you ask for help, and with what?  Please share!

Keeping it real

I had a crappy day today.  It wasn’t anything in particular, but rather a venting of pressure from some things I’ve become aware of but haven’t yet found a way to change.  I’ve done a ton of journaling in the last 6 months, had a few very vivid dreams about my life path, and have pinpointed some specific things I’d like to change my perspective on.  Another way of putting that would be “I’m therapist hunting, and options are limited with a miniscule budget.” I haven’t felt very sane at all, with piles of riled up emotions looking for an easy outlet.  One friend challenged me tonight to write my next newsletter on being an InSane Mom … not a bad idea! 
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How do you fit it all in??

I’m feeling a little stuck at the moment … I’m finding summer planning a particular challenge.  I’ve got a couple of big web projects going/in the chute, and the time they’ll require is significant and not entirely predictable.  I have both kids home, and don’t think I can afford camp (though there’s one possibility for my older one for July).  I’m marathon training again, and loathe to give that up just because it’s inconvenient.  It requires early rising (a 6:45 am start was too late today given the heat) and leaves me both tired and energized, if that makes any sense.  After a full day with the boys with errands, cooking, fight-settling, outings, etc, I’m done by 9pm (their usual summer bedtime) and want nothing other than a cold drink and a book. That’s just not possible though.
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The Worst Parenting Advice I Ever Received (Guest post by Heather S.)

Thanks to Heather S. for this guest post, you’ll be seeing more of her around!  Don’t miss her links at the bottom.

During my baby shower, a little book was passed around.  The guests were encouraged to write their best parenting advice for yours truly.  I received all sorts of advice ranging from sleep when the baby sleeps, remember your husband, sleep now because you will never sleep again, embrace the muffin top because it will never go away, and NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY!  All sound advice.

But the one piece of advice that stuck with me (and still does) is to “enjoy every moment”.

That piece of advice sucked!

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Digging Deep

I’ve been doing a lot of digging lately, deep into my guts where there are things buried that I haven’t even thought of in years.  Things that were more than I could bear to process at the time, so I stuffed them in.  I didn’t even realize it until a friend challenged me to write about some of the things that make me frustrated and angry.  I’m that way a lot more often than I realize, and it’s been a hard thing to acknowledge.  Trying to get to the root of what makes me feel that way has produced some surprising results.  I found blanks in my memory that shouldn’t be that way, and it hurts to dig into why.  I’ve been raw, and feeling some delayed emotional reactions to things that happened 10 years ago and more.  I referred to the cycle of things awhile back, and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in it all.  We all have our rough spots, and this is one of mine. 
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Food and Kids

No matter where (in the USA at least) your kids get their education, chances are the food program at their school could use some improvement.  I can certainly vouch for the craptastic quality of most of what Douglas was served for 4+ years.  It’s full of sugars and fillers and all kinds of stuff that we know isn’t the healthiest thing for our kids.  I think we can all agree there’s a lot of room for improvement in the public school system! 

I’ve gotten a chance to watch the first couple episodes of Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, and it’s enough to make me hope that he can pull off some kind of change that makes other cities sit up and take notice!  He shows that many people have no idea where their food comes from, or what it even is.  That a classroom of kindergartners couldn’t identify a raw potato or tomato?!  There are some scare tactics in there for sure, but they make a very clear point.  We can do better.  It’s a cause I’m happy to support, and hope you do too!

The link to his petition is here, and the shows can be seen online here.  Check it out, and sign if you think it’s time to change the food served in our schools!

Life is like a box of Crayons ...

… you’re never quite sure what colors you’re going to need.  I have a lot of friends.  Some I’ve had forever, some for years, some for a day ore two, and they’re all important to me.  I tend to turn to certain friends for certain things.  I don’t usually call my childless friends to ask for parenting advice, or to my newest friend if I’m having a meltdown about my day.  I often feel drawn to specific relationships depending on what I want to talk about.  Some relationships are easy, the conversations range over absolutely everything, and the silences are golden.  These are the crayons stubs disappearing into the bottom of my precious box of 64, with the paper torn off and nary a point to be found.  Well used, well loved, and still colorful. 
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Sitter Debting (Guest post by Rahti)


© Rahti Gorfien 2009

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of grousing about lack of reciprocity when it comes to watching someone else’s kid(s).  ‘I take her kid, and as soon as I ask for coverage, there’s always some excuse…’  I call this Sitter-Debting.  Not to brag, but I seem to have the opposite ‘problem’.  People won’t take me up on reciprocating!  Is it just me?  Am I that pathetic?  Is my child so fabulous that people feel blessed just having him around?  Now I know THAT’S delusional.  A friend said recently it’s because I don’t exude neediness around the issue.  People sense that if they say no, I’ll be okay; in other words, I’ll manage perfectly well without their help.  Well, there may be some accuracy to that observation, but only because I approach child care as a numbers game.  I know a lot of parents.  I know several with kids who have the same schedule as my son, and with whom he gets along.  I won’t presume to say that we’re all so fortunate, but many of us are, even  the folks who feel isolated due to being a single parent, or are in the I’m-the-stay-at-home-parent-so-everybody-dumps-their-kids-with-me role. 

Now this is touchy.  In fact, I’m truly afraid of getting my ass kicked for saying this (metaphorically, of course).

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